December 30th, 2013 – My 35th Birthday

Dear Mom,

I turned 35 today and this question has been floating around in my head the last few days: I’m all for celebrating with others, don’t get me wrong, but could there be a better way to celebrate my birthday?

If I’m being totally honest with you, I didn’t really do anything on December 30th, 35 years ago. I truly have no memory of it.

Now if you ask my mom, I’m sure she could tell you and convey a strong emotion with the events leading up to and including my birth. Is this day mine, really, to celebrate? Is living out another 365 days worth celebrating?

I’m not suggesting not celebrating the day of your birth, I’m suggesting that you celebrate your mom on your birthday. There are many reasons for this train of thought. Here are two: first, we have no memory or any true action on our part surrounding the event; second, as much as we enjoy receiving gratitude, giving true gratitude is a much healthier and fulfilling action.

I have no problem admitting that I’m selfish. I believe that there are selfish acts that a person can perform that are truly wonderful. When thanking someone, the giver is the one that benefits. I’d like to repeat that.

When being kind to another, the giver is the one that truly benefits. You can’t feel what the other person is feeling. What you feel is the vibe you get from how you make them feel.

Now I know that I’m not the first person to think of this. I just wanted to tell my mom that I love her, that I appreciate the pain, suffering, and self-sacrifice she has endured on my behalf not only on the day of my birth but also for the years that followed, that I am fully aware that I wasn’t always the easiest person to love, but she always made me feel loved. I just wanted to tell her all this on my birthday.

Mom, I pledge this coming year to tell you that I love you more often, and I will find more ways to let you know how special you are to me and make you prouder.

Love always,

Chris

Palmore, Chris. The Mechanics of Gratitude (pp. 10-11). Kindle Edition.